Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
