that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
