I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
