he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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