Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
