dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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