he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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