Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
