I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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