Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
