We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
