Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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