we have officially lost it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
