somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
