Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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