sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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