ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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