just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize