it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She bit a glass in half.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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