sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
