im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
