I wish my penis had an off switch
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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