STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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