A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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