i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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