Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
