dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
