I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you didnt know i had herpes?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
