we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize