you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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