I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
