It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
