You just made me feel so damn special
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
