Its about making memories worth repressing
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
