Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
