A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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