I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
