Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
