I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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