I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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