Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
