i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
