Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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