How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
