they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize