I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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