Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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