Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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