girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
