Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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