So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
