he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
