i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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