I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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