Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize