I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
