Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
