Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
