Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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